(via juliasegal)
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Chipmunk
Here are my autobiographical tips to my friend to cheer up.
I’M NEVER EATING AT PF FUCKING CHANG’S AGAIN!
Cricket Sucks
- Me: Who the fuck is hunting feet, Sherlock?
- Ben: what
- Me: Y'know... in sherlock holmes
- Me: OH
- Me: no wait, they say, "The Game is Afoot"
- Me: Point stands
- Ben: right
- Me: Who plays feet?
- Ben: like soccer references and shit
- Me: or you kick feet around
- Ben: fo real
- Me: "Let's go play cricket!" "How do you play cricket?" "I have absolutely no idea and neither does anyone else."
- Me: It's a game predicated on lies.
- Me: Everyone acts like the know what's going on, but there is no way in any universe that that game makes sense.
- Ben: Don;t you run back and forth as many times as possible?
- Me: Yeah, something like that
- Ben: I mean, for one....
- Me: and then there's a wicket
- Ben: baseball improves on something
- Ben: wtf is a wicket
- Me: what the fuck are small magical woodland creatures doing in this game?
- Me: I KNOW
- Me: And then the bat is a fucking rhombus with a pole on it
- Me: And they wear stupid shin guards
- Me: and if I remember correctly, they also wear equestrian helmets
- Ben: YEAH
- Me: Y'know, people all over the world play rugby. I can get behind that.
- Me: But only England, India, and maybe kinda Hong Kong (which was an english territory) play cricket. Why? Because it's fucking bullshit, Ben.
- Me: Let me also say, however, that baseball is total fucking bullshit too.
- Ben: agreed
- Me: I AM SO MAD NOW!
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